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You are not good enough.

You are not good enough, and neither am I.

You are terrible at your job and your boss will be by shortly to remind you of it. If you leave this job that you suck at, you will be informed how easily you will be replaced. Your spouse will alert you of your shortcomings everyday, just in case you have forgotten your failures. After all, you are a terrible spouse because you are nothing like everyone else’s spouse. It’s a friend, who talks about her powerful career when you are a stay-at-home parent, or the stay-at-home parent who looks down on you because you are a working mother. It’s your neighbor who has the immaculate house and yard or the catalog images selling clothing in sizes that you could never pull up your leg. You have the wrong hair color, laugh lines known as wrinkles, ugly callused feet and breasts that are heading south. If you care about these things, you are selfish, and if you don’t you are “letting yourself go.”

You are not good enough.

You will never be enough, have enough, look good enough, love enough or change enough to be accepted for who you are.

That is what the world tell us.

That is what society shows us.

That is what we tell ourselves and others.

That is what we show our children.

You will never be good enough and neither will they.

I am the mother of three young, beautiful girls, and I am afraid. My daughters are wonderful little beings. They are curious, secure, and happy. They are smart, generous and kind. They have yet to see that the world around them will cast doubt on the adequacy of the very things that make them who they are. I don’t know how to teach them that they are perfectly imperfect and that is what makes them unique. How will they learn that being themselves IS enough, when the rest of the world will tell them that it is not?

How will they learn to be comfortable within themselves and not cave to the pressures to change for someone else? How will they obtain a sense of self-worth that no one else can take away? How will they learn that the only standards they should strive to meet in their life are simply their own?

It doesn’t matter who they are or who they become. They can succeed, fail, win, or lose by society’s standards and they will always be loved by me.

If only my love was good enough…