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I suffer from migraines and have since I was a child. I come well by them, as my maternal grandmother and great-grandmother had them through their life until menopause. Great! At 36 years of age, I have a way to go.

Recently, my migraines have increased in both severity and frequency. This is likely the result of our recent move, the financial burden of owning two homes, our oldest daughter starting 1st grade at a new school, my husband starting a new job, and our nearly 3-year old toddler twin daughters exploring the world around them as I try to keep our lives in balance, and find time for myself.

Unfortunately, time for myself has resulted in time alone in bed buried in pillows with one side of my head feeling like it’s going to split open in pain.

My husband handles this situation about as well as my children. My family’s sense of security lies within it’s rhythm and predictability. The one who creates this is now lying flat in a bed. My husband autopilots into what he knows. He attempts to go from a Hematologist to a Pseudo-Neurologist. What I need is my husband at this point, as I already have a Neurologist, but my husband doesn’t get what this means…

My children flounder, as expected. Their surroundings are the same, yet it is different. The school is calling wondering why my daughter is so sad. They miss their mom and I do too.

I’ve been seeing both a neurologist and a chiropractor. The neurologist has me on several medications, which I have titrated up to a point where I now feel drugged with migraines. I can’t see straight, I black out, I have shallow breathing, shortness of breath, tingling and prickling extremities, and weight loss. At this point, the side-effects of these medications, meant to prevent migraines, are contributing to them.

The chiropractor has provided some relief, though he believes I should get off all medications and let my body heal itself. His reasoning for this sounds more like medical art, than medical science. I tend to agree with him, despite his lack of scientific reasoning. Yet, my great-grandmother spent 3 days in bed each month with a migraine during the time of her menstruation.

My husband, who I need to just be a husband, doesn’t know how to do so. My guess is that anyone married to physician knows exactly what I’m talking about. Instead of coming home and providing the needed stability for my family, he’s drilling me like he’s filling out some big questionnaire about what I ate, when, how much, what I drank, what my blood pressure is, is my urine dark or clear, when I last took my meds, what my symptoms are, did I poop, etc…

I can feel the throbbing worsen. It’s all enough to give one a migraine.

What I really need is a hug from him and “I’ll take care of the children and pick up the house.”

So, after a couple of days of rest, I’m doing what every patient in today’s healthcare system has to do and empowering myself to take ownership of my care. I’m calling the neurology clinic to find out how to titrate OFF of the medication that is causing me problems and further explain my situation again. I will continue to see the chiropractor as much as I need to, knowing that the true benefit of modern-day medicine lies somewhere in-between these two doctors.

As for my family, I’ll be as strong as I can as many days as I can, however, they need to understand that life isn’t always about them.  Some days, life is about mom and I need them too…