I often begin writing my blog by opening a blank page, uncertain of a topic to write about. I sit in a quiet spot, after my children have gone to bed, and reflect on my life. I’d like to think that there are times that things of value come out of this reflection. It at least is of some value to me to get out my thoughts and feeling with the intention that they may be helpful to someone else. There are other times I worry that I have nothing “inspiring” to say. This time, I think I need to vent.
I am a parent to a 7-year old and toddler identical twins, a spouse to a physician, the oldest of three children, and a friend to many. I have living parents, grandmothers, a mother-in-law and a sister-in-law and family that I love like my own. I deal with the growing and changing dynamics of these relationships everyday. I switch hats more often than I change underwear at times, sometimes making it difficult to make a coherent sentence to the appropriate audience.
We now own two houses, my husband has two jobs, in two different states (plus a national educational consultant position). Where is my family? We are actually caught in the middle of all of this at the moment. Trust me, I understand that I am blessed to be in this situation, but it doesn’t make it any less stressful.
My husband will not argue that I am the rock in our family. When I struggle, my family struggles. He needs to come home from the craziness of his work with a sense of calm in our home. Food in the refrigerator, organization, happy children, and routine and rhythms in full function. If these things are in place, I have a happy family. This has greeted him for the past 7 years, now… it’s chaos.
I’m trying to organize two mortgages, two sets of utilities and insurances, arrange a move with three children around my husband’s (three) work schedules, get one house ready to move into (which my husband has never seen) and the other one we currently still live in ready to sell. I’m trying to take care of the lawn and landscaping both here and there. Paint and fix walls here and there. Deal with the the movers here and there, insurance companies here and there, and banks here and there. All of this, when trying not to further stress out my husband and to provide the least amount of disruption to my children’s lives as possible.
So the “rock” is a bit cracked and my family is feeling it. It’s nothing that will not be mended as time goes on and things settle in. It’s the transition that my family has been anticipating. It is approaching and we need to get through to get to the other side. We will and will one day look back and remember fondly where we were, but be glad that it is now a part of our past.
Thank you, for listening to me vent. You have given me a chance to take off my hat(s). I am grateful…